Sunday, September 18, 2005
Serial "Road Kill-er" Strikes Again
I'm not sure how many incidents it takes to make an offender "serial" but I think Randy is one. Back when he was about 20, he was "innocently" riding his bicycle in Ojai when, according to him, a cat ran right out in front of him and he just ran it over. But, I'm starting to wonder if that's the real story.
I didn't really think about it when, about 15 years ago, we were driving down to Devils Post Pile in the Aerostar van. A little chick-monk ;) was playing chicken with his friends and as quickly as you can blink an eye, squish! I felt the smush under our tires. The boys can testify to the fact that Randy/Dad "swerved to miss him", but misjugded and ended up executing him instead.
This weekend it all started to come together. There we were on a little windy road (Hmmmm. That's funny. We were on a windy road when he hit the chipmonk, AND he was on a road when he hit the cat. Coincidence? I wonder.) Anyway, we came around the corner. Randy had totally taken on his Mario Andretti persona, so I was keeping quiet. All of a sudden, there it was. A huge tarantula, making his way across the little road. I screamed, "Oh cool! Let's take a picture! Emma will love it!" And then I felt that reminiscent, almost undetectable, tiny swerve of the car, and I knew there would be no hope of a picture. That is unless I wanted a morbid photo of taratula guts and 8 squished leggs. Randy SAID, "Oh shoot!" That's when it all started to sink in. These weren't just random accidents, they were the sensless acts of a deranged Road Kill-er! What next Randy, skunks and possums? What about birds, would you kill birds? All I can say is, if you are riding with Randy and you see a cute little fuzzy animal that you'd like to photograph, KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT. There is something inside his twisted mind that will snap and the next think you know, that fuzzy creature will be flat.
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If he gets bored he can come over to our house and kill mice. I've killed two this weekend (without any traps or tools by the way).
# posted by 
: 5:15 PM
: 5:15 PM
I wonder if this kind of dementia is genetic. His mom ran over a new born puppy one time, Nate killed a rabbit on his way to his friends house and Nick has been known to kill birds and squirrels. When will the maddnes end?
so jared, how do you kill mice without tools or traps? did you step on them? or do you use your bare hands? ewwwwwww!
Ok, so the little innocent chipmunks and cat stories were depressing, but what in the world is wrong with killing a tarantula? I say hit it, then back up, and roll over it again. That way you KNOW FOR SURE it's dead.
By the way, Jared, how did you kill mice without traps or tools? I'm curious now too. I'm imagining you picking them up and squeezing them til they popped. Please tell me I'm wrong!
By the way, Jared, how did you kill mice without traps or tools? I'm curious now too. I'm imagining you picking them up and squeezing them til they popped. Please tell me I'm wrong!
No, I didn't use my bare hands, that would be gross (because of the germs). One I stepped on, and the other one I captured in a bag (which I guess you could technically count as a tool or trap).
# posted by : 9:39 PM
: 9:39 PM
Are ya sure it wasn't a rat?
Do you kill spiders too? I mean, while Randy's gone this week, can you be on call just in case?
Do you kill spiders too? I mean, while Randy's gone this week, can you be on call just in case?
It was definitely big enough to be a rat; although I'm not too into animals so I don't really know what distinguishes a rat from a mouse other than size.
Ya, I can kill spiders too; I usually just use my bare hands for those.
Just picture a huge giant that is way taller than the highest skyscraper reaching down quickly and squishing you with his thumb; then you won't be so scared of doing it to the spiders; they can't really do anything back to you, they just die. I know it's a psychological thing, so that probably doesn't help, but oh well.
Ya, I can kill spiders too; I usually just use my bare hands for those.
Just picture a huge giant that is way taller than the highest skyscraper reaching down quickly and squishing you with his thumb; then you won't be so scared of doing it to the spiders; they can't really do anything back to you, they just die. I know it's a psychological thing, so that probably doesn't help, but oh well.
# posted by : 2:48 PM
: 2:48 PM
Differences between rats and mice...
Mouse: smooth tail, small feet, pointed nose, large ears, and large eyes.
Rat: scaly tail, large feet, blunt nose, small ears, and small eyes.
Similarities of rats and mice:
You don't want either one running around your garage, eating your cereal and leaving their droppings here and there. Your cat does, though. However, from what I understand there is a pretty nasty disease you can get from rat droppings that even can be airborne. It makes you feel like you have the flu but progresses way beyond that. (That's just what I remember hearing from my pest control friends. I'm not an expert)
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Mouse: smooth tail, small feet, pointed nose, large ears, and large eyes.
Rat: scaly tail, large feet, blunt nose, small ears, and small eyes.
Similarities of rats and mice:
You don't want either one running around your garage, eating your cereal and leaving their droppings here and there. Your cat does, though. However, from what I understand there is a pretty nasty disease you can get from rat droppings that even can be airborne. It makes you feel like you have the flu but progresses way beyond that. (That's just what I remember hearing from my pest control friends. I'm not an expert)
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