Thursday, September 08, 2005

Why, God, Why?

I was wondering out loud the other day. "Why did God make it so that men (not mentioning any names) snore so loudly and grotesquely that it disturbs the sleep pattern of women (big yawn)? I was meaning it in a kind of "What's up with that?" attitude. Randy didn't take it as the good natured hint that it was: "Could you please stop breathing?", but more as a challenge to discover a good reason why this phenomenon might occur.

Here's what he came up with...

Back when everyone was sleeping out in the wilderness (lions and tigers and bears, OH MY!) the men's snoring at night would serve 2 purposes:
  1. The loud snoring of the men served as a sort of weapon to scare off predatory animals. (Hence, villages. The more snorers, the less chance of attack.)
  2. The sound of men snoring would give the women a sense of safety due to the above, and actually allow them to sleep better.
OOOOOHHHHHHHH! So, that's why we have never had any wild animals attacking our home at night. What I thought was torture was actually chivalry.

I feel so special!

// posted by jacquie @ 8:22 PM
Comments:
i guess skinny men aren't very good at keeping the wild animals away.
# posted by Blogger jacquie : 10:37 PM
 
No, the "bigger" guys have more meat that the animals want, so the snores have to be louder to keep the animals away.
# posted by Blogger KBugg : 10:39 AM
 
Yeah. That's true. Skinny men don't need as much protection from wild animals. But then, what about if they had big wives? Once again: it takes a village. I learned about that when we were camping at Lake Casitas. If Randy's snoring didn't keep the coyotes away, Jared's did.
# posted by Blogger jacquie : 12:05 PM
 
We all survived Lake Casitas so it must've worked.
# posted by Blogger KBugg : 12:43 PM
 
Why is it that God made it so women whine so loudly and baby-like that it disturbs the nice relaxed state of men so often?

And unfortunately weight seems to have no bearing on the level of whininess, so we men have no reprieve.
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 4:43 PM
 
You're being too positive here mom. The answer to why men snore is sin. Sin has brought snoring into this world. This doesn't mean that men are sinning when they are snoring. Randy was on the right track. Women whine for the same reason: sin. This is a little different though, in that when women whine, they are sinners. By the way, I don't whine or snore. Jen doesn't whine either, she just snores.
# posted by Blogger Nick : 3:14 PM
 
well, lucky for you, no wild animals will be pestering your apartment. good job jen!
# posted by Blogger jacquie : 5:37 PM
 
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